Rum head-winds

Two very windy days on the bike. Yesterday was just a block head-wind around Purcell's Cove. You know it's going to be bad when climbing the hills on the way out doesn't actually feel hard and you spend the time going out wondering exactly how hard it's going to be once you make the turnaround. Once Mac Grant and I did Sambro in the crazy windy and at one point on the back side of the loop we came around a corner and were stopped dead by the wind.

Today wasn't quite so bad, blustery and changeable, but still a net tail-wind on the way out and the corresponding head-wind home. To make matters worse I decided, pig-headedly to do it on 68" fixed. Maybe it's my way of cramming my miles in. They say you spend 30% of any ride free-wheeling. Fixed, obviously, changes this.

I will say this, I do find fixed quite useful in a head-wind or a climb. Instead of spending all your time and focus on hopping up and down the cassette trying to find that "magic" gear, you are left to concentrate your focus on getting the pedals up and down, around and around. Very Zen.

As long as your choice of gear was a judicious one. And you likely chose your gear last night in the shed!

I'm sure if I was a real, focused, goal-driven triathlete (or athlete of any description) I would have finished the ride off with my remaining Shot Bloks and for a treat used a little more powder in my post-ride protein-shake. Good job I'm not! I finished off at TIBS instead, where else. My heart, well stomach, was set on an almond croissant, but they were out, so I plumped (plumped being the operative word) for the proscuittio and cheese. Rounding out a 2500 cal ride (according to the Garmin) with a 2500 croissant is just good maths. No?

It was washed down with a cappuccino. Not normally my poison of choice, but a 'spro seemed to be a little "much" and an Americano would have been too much volume.

A big weekend this week with the Rum Runners Relay. Halifax Running Club A (HRC-A) is going for the barrel for a fourth consecutive year. no team has ever won four in a row, so statistically we're doomed. Lies, damned lies and statistics however, we have a good team going forward here. You take a list of winners (overall, age-group or both) from RNS events this year; Rami Bardessy, Denise Robson, Nick McBride, Greg Wieczorek, Ray Morehead, Shawn Deleu and Hugh McIssac and (God help you) me, and that's the core of the team.

We are in for a fight this year. Oxford At 8 have been gunning for us for a couple of years now and have made it clear we are in their sights. Of course, to be their sights, they have to be behind us! Oh well, perhaps HRC-Ladies can give them a run for their money.

I think they must be worried has they are claiming (apparently) we have recruited ringers for the team. I can go on record publicly and say that everyone in the team is a club member or has been running with the club for months. No-one has been included on the basis of "they ran with the club one Thursday evening on February, that makes 'em a club member". We've always been scrupulous with this.

The other unknown is the team from St Pierre et Michelon. For a tiny speak of nothing, these guys always bring a good team. The last time they were here was my first time on the winning team and they pushed us close. It looks as though the threat to us may come from without rather than within.

I got new shoes yesterday for the upcoming month of madness; a race every weekend I think for the next month, perhaps three if the 'cross starts on schedule. Mizuno Presicions. The same shoes I've been in for a couple of years. For some reason, the blue-and-white ones aren't around any more and so Dana at A1 sold me a pair in red-and-black.

As comfy as they may be, I'm never going to be able to match those with anything!

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The Pharmacokinetics of a TIBS Almond Croissant

Zane told me today's Wednesday Punk ride was off due to pre-existing commitment on his part (his wedding anniversary) so I went out for a little 40km Waverley loop on the Paddy Wagon instead. It's still on 68" (42 x 16) and seeing as I got another kicking from Mac et al yesterday and there's a prospect of another one tomorrow, a light spin in an easy gear seemed like a good idea.

I rolled up to TIBS with 35kms on the clock for some post-ride refreshment; it's 5 km home from TIBS, as we all know "in-town-averages-don't-count" so as you're going to drop your average as you cat-and-mouse a bus from downtown Dartmouth up and over the bridge to the north end, you might as well do it with a delicately pulled 'spro lingering on your tastebuds. Screw your data in style!

Anyway, as I walked in, Zane walked out in lycra and a sleeveless-T and said "oh great, LT got hold of you; Laurie Park?".

Huh?

Turns out Zane's wedding anniversary was on-hold until 3 and the ride was a go. Except I'd already done one. I had a hasty 'spro and an almond croissant, filled, drank and refilled my bidons and I was ready to go (again!). I almost forgot to take a picture, but remembered just in time.

It doesn't look pretty but I was a) hungry and b) realizing the easy 40 was turning into 100kms on 68" fixed and that's never going to be easy. The almond croissant went from gourmandise to fuel. It's a pity to treat one so, it borders on disrespect, but it was looking like one of those days.

Plus, I was wearing these Louis Garneau shorts that were left over from the first HLT and I picked up for $40 or something. Hey they're bibs; what can possibly go wrong?

Plenty. I was having some severe crotchal incompatibility issues with the LG chamois. I'm not saying they're bad shorts per se, they just don't fit my arse.

When espressosnob turned up we clipped in and rolled off. Problem was, he turned up on a Pro-Tour level carbon Wilier with DuraAce 7900 whilst Zane and I were on steel fixies (and Zane eschews brakes, so we only had four brakes between three bikes).

This was the cycling equivalent of bringing a gun to a knife-fight!

When I was young and stupid (as opposed to just stupid) the old boys used to talk about riding on experience and now I'm approaching old-boy status (in age if not wisdom) I see what they mean. Zane and LT rocketed off; Zane on 74" and LT on a proper bike with variable gears (what a concept! I predict they'll revolutionise cycling!). I sprinted onto wheels, spent a little energy now to save a whole lot more later on and tried to stayed glued onto the wheel in front up hill and down dale while willing the croissant to stay put.

Which brings us to the article under discussion in today's Journal Club; "The Pharmacokinetics of a TIBS Almond Croissant" Dacanay A., Z. Kelsall and L. Title. which we hope to submit to the Journal of Food Reversal. Although little known, J. Fd. Rev. has a high, ahem, impact factor.

Figure 1. Satiation Quotient (SQ) as a function of distance travelled. Following breakfast (1) the SQ dropped during the pre-load. Following ingestion of a TIBS almond croissant (2) it peaked maximally (3), which rapidly produced a feeling of imminent, involuntary croissant ejection whilst traveling at a speed of 9.7 m s-1 by bicycle. Such feelings decreased during the ride until the primes/attacks (A, B, C) which immediately restored feelings of involuntary buccal baked-goods rejection.

As you can see from the accompanying graph, the pre-load ride set the test-subject up nicely for the croissant, being neither bonky (Satiation Quotient, SQ, = 0) or stuffed full (SQ = 1) but nicely hungry (SQ ca. 0.1) which correlates with a feeling of "ooh, that looks nice, can I have one please?".

Following the croissant, the subject experienced an SQ approaching 1. Together with a rocket-ship start from the cafe at 9.7 m s-1, this was vaguely uncomfortable. The subject forgot to bring gels or similar, but that was acceptable as with an SQ ca. 1, even a gel (ca. 10 mL) was going to result in a Mr Creosote.

As the ride progressed, the SQ approached a normal figure (ca. 0.6, neither full or hungry). Given that blood redistribution must have occurred during the ride from the stomach to the legs, even at the advanced level of wheel-sucking that was observed, we can only speculate why the SQ, which is an entirely subjective scale, fell. It is likely that the absolute kicking experienced on the bike excited the inhibitory cells of the dorsal horn causing the pain in the legs to predominate and this caused the subject to forget, at a cortical level, about the croissant.

Figure 2. Don't you forget about me.

This was until the primes, A and B, on the way back, which managed to inhibit the excitation of the inhibitory neurons resulting in an almost involuntary inhibition of the voluntary inhibition of vomiting (keeping up?). After the primes LT launched a vicious attack, C, that was partly facilitated by his use of a new-fangled derraileur. The attack was partially neutralised utilising the dichotomous desicion-making tool first proposed by Strummer et al (1981) on Combat Rock by the popular 70s punk band "The Clash"

Of course, in an attack-situation where millisecond-levels of descrimination are required, it almost always recommended "to go now". The attack, and the feelings of immediate patisserie loss, was only fully neutralised when it was proposed by one of us that were four types of ride;

1) Drop ride; aka see you at the Rotary in 2 hrs suckers

2) No-drop ride #1; ride at a pace equivalent to that of the slowest rider

3) No-drop ride #2; we'll drop you but wait for you at the top of the hill

4) Don't drop the sponsor; self-explanatory.

This was a category #4 ride, given that a 49th Parallel Coffee 'spro "on the house" was a likely post-ride outcome.

In conclusion; an almond croissant from TIBS, which is approximately 70% butter and 50% almond paste (isolated from non-bitter variants of Prunus dulcis) is universally acknowledged to be "damn fine food". Regardless of it's placement in the Yumminess Schema, ingestion of even a single Almond Croissant before a bike ride may result in a varied syndrome with no single, pathognomic sign. It is likely that the severity of Post-Almond Croissant Ingestion Syndrome (PACIS) increases with the velocity of the bicycle-ride. We consider this to be the definitive study of PACIS as it would be clearly unethical to ask the test-subject to do this again!

Furthermore, we speculate that ingestion of an Almond Croissant immediately post-ride will not be associated with PACIS and may, in fact, be linked to an increase in brain serotonin and a general uplift in mood (After Ride Almond Croissant Happiness, ARACH). It is also likely the Almond Croissant will interact synergistically with espresso. Given that a statistically relevant sample is still required, it is clear that more research on ARACH, with and without the espresso variable, is needed.

Acknowledgements; The authors wish to thank Tara for the croissant and the driver of the black pick-up truck near Waverley who nearly rendered the study obsolete. This is TIBS ms#001.

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Fallen...

The Punk Wednesday rides seem to have fallen by the wayside recently, but hopefully we'll get them back on track in the next couple of weeks. So I was left to my own devices yesterday and had my own Punk Wednesday ride, which was really just me beating myself up on 68" fixed for a couple of hours. It was a bit like that bit in Asterix (in Switzerland?) where the Roman messenger has an "orgy in a basket" and declares that "it's just not the same".

Nevertheless, I finished off at TIBS, and in honour of the traditions of Punk Wednesday refuelled in style with a 'spro and a St Viateur bagel.

What was funny, as in funny peculiar not funny ha-ha, was how two and a half hours later I found myself with a Timmies;

How far, and how quickly, the mighty have fallen! It reminds one of the line in NIN's "Hurt"; "I hurt myself today, To see if I still feel". Here it is in all of Johnny Cash's gravelly wonderessness, and so you can feel yourself the epic Hurt of going from a 49th Parallel, TIBS pulled 'spro to a medium Timmies with milk within one afternoon.

I think Espresso Snob, for one, felt that one!

It occurs to me that I've meandered long and hard on the occasions I remember to log on to SockSnob, but haven't had a sock in a while. So here's what I was wearing yesterday during my descent to the 7th level of coffee hell;

Orange Triathlon Socks. I think you need a certain insouciance to wear orange socks, if you're not Dutch or 45% of the population of Northern Ireland. I'm not sure if I was exuding insouciance, a certain je ne sais quoi or that "....this? Oh just a little something I threw on this morning" (and not in a good way). Certainly, some thought has to go into wearing orange socks; I was wearing the '10 HLT jersey, and that's orange and yellow, so these matched. Seeing as I don't have many jerseys that match with these puppies (just this one and my 2004 Jittery Joes jersey), it was time to give them an airing.

And then there are the silver shoes, but that's another story!

The socks depict the swim....

...the bike (which is appropriately and authentically overlaid with a grease-stain from fixing a flat for someone who was apparently using bunker-fuel or some other, heavier distillate rather than Pedros on their chain )...

..and of course the run....

They amuse me, as socks, but of course it is ironic that they are produced in homage to a sport where socks are not worn! But what the heck, they match a hard-to-match jersey.

Until next time, keep your socks out of the way when changing a flat!

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